I recently had some health issues that forced me to reevaluate a few things - the most important of which being that ole unobtainable goal of work/life balance. I work full time in a job that I love. A job that not only pays the bills, but one that I have a stake in the overall success. My job has provided me with the structure to raise my family in an environment that didn't require me to choose between daycare and parenting and my livelihood.
I believe my generation (and possibly every generation of women after WWII) was fed a pile of bullshit when we were told we could do it all. We could be supermom and VP of product marketing with perfect eyeliner and our unscuffed 4-fucking-inch-high Louboutin's. Yeah. Total bullshit. We make choices. Good, bad, ugly. Every woman (mother or not, wife or not) makes choices. Something gets more and something gets less. We are not infinite. We are not timeless.
Now you're probably saying to yourself "what's the effing point, Babblerella?" Gimme a sec. I'm getting there.
Every day, every year, I have to look at the choices I've made and be okay with them. Because if I'm not I have to change. All I can do is change me...because all those assholes out there (that bitch in the Honda that keeps riding my ass on the way to work, that jerk dad that thinks his kid his better than mine, that dork who shakes my hand like a limp noodle) aren't going to change for me. When I stopped drinking over a decade ago the one promise I made myself (other than not to drink ever again) was to be a better version of me.
And coming back around to my health issues. They are not permanent and they are fixable...other than the just getting older part. That's not changing no matter what supplements I take. Am I doing the right things with my life? For me? For my family? Is working and writing and writing and working what I should be doing?
Well, duh. I love my children and my husband....my whole family. I love my job. I love writing. I love the writing community. I love challenging myself and growing and learning. I wish I'd started earlier, honestly, but coulda, woulda, shoulda is a ridiculous habit and I refuse to indulge any longer.
So what's the moral you may ask (if you haven't already fallen asleep)? The moral is I need to take care of myself by taking my supplements, eating better, and exercising if I want to do all the things. I should also just accept that sleep is overrated.